I’m generally a pretty happy, relaxed person but at times like this I wonder if I’m truly an unhappy person in my subconscious. If I’m a negative entity and a pessimistic person even though I say that I’m not

I can’t open up to anybody because everybody is temporary. And the person that I do want to open up to, I can’t because I don’t want to annoy them or burden them with any of my problems. I’m gonna lose my mind with thoughts like this. I’m gonna relapse and do dumb shit with thoughts like this. But I can’t fucking rid myself of them

I’m alone. In a room full of my closest friends, I’m alone. I cry alone, I go through it alone and through some of the toughest memories of my life, I was alone. It gets to points where I want to delete all my social media, everyone’s numbers who I know don’t give a fuck about me and so on. My father always told me that finding one good friend in life is hard, and you’re the luckiest person in the world if you do. It never made any sense to me but it’s clear as day in this moment, even though my mind is in a fuck cluster rn